


Quilt

by wavewright62



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Character Undeath, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Orphans and refugees, Year 0 (Stand Still Stay Silent)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 16:30:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12369642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wavewright62/pseuds/wavewright62
Summary: Kaino Hotakainen finds her way to a refugee centre, and renews an acquaintance with someone she knew before.





	Quilt

**Author's Note:**

> This serves as my entry for the letter Q in the SSSS Alphabet Challenge.

\------

They had all hunkered down for the winter in Eino and Tuuli’s boat. First the television signals stopped, then the radio stations stopped transmitting, one by one. They could still get some satellite signal, but stopped trying when all they could receive was static and incoherent cries for help. Eventually, Aino and Kaino stopped rolling their eyes at each other behind Tuuli’s back every time she opened her mouth. What they had once dismissed as her paranoid fantasy was turning out to be reality.

Aino had given birth to a baby girl, whom she and Saku named Ensi. Tuuli was still advocating for a sauna birth, but finding a sauna proved to be difficult. They had attempted to find harbour at several sites, but were chased off at gunpoint twice, and then Saku freaked out at another settlement and begged Eino to not even touch their wharf. Another settlement looked all right, with smoke coming from their chimneys and mouth-watering smells coming from the communal kitchen, but the residents that did come out were hollow-eyed and gaunt, with several displaying the Rash on their faces. In the end, Ensi was born on the boat without complications.

The wine and frozen pizza were long gone. Kaino and Saku went on short rations to give Aino enough food to be able to breastfeed the baby. Kaino, Veeti, Eino and sometimes even Saku went ashore in an attempt to find places to loot tinned food, with mixed success. They got better at figuring out where to raid, as the former grocery markets were well emptied, but some abandoned houses still had intact pantries. Tuuli always fretted during their forays, until they were safely back on the boat.

When spring finally came, Kaino couldn’t stand it any longer, and when they came upon a guarded settlement with a refugee centre, Kaino took her chance. She tried to persuade Aino to come too, but Aino wouldn’t leave without Saku, who was reluctant to leave. There was no help for it, so Kaino kissed Aino and Ensi good-bye, made Aino promise to stop back again when they could, grabbed her packed duffel bag and ran down the wharf before Tuuli could see her from the captain’s cabin.

\------

Kaino’s eyes adjusted to the dim light inside the communal building. The first thing she could make out was a figure in a white hazmat suit hurrying toward her. “No, no, the quarantine station first! Don’t come in here!” Kaino turned to flee, but the hazmat suit was faster and hustled her out the door. Outside, the suit pointed at a small building on the far side of the village, past the eating tables.

The waiting room looked like that of a normal doctor’s office; water cooler, vaguely pretty wall art, office chairs around the walls, even the obligatory magazines on a low table in the center of the room. There was one other person in the waiting room of the quarantine centre, an unkempt teenaged girl who stared resolutely at the floor next to her battered backpack. Kaino picked up the nearest magazine and settled down to wait, perusing the Winter Fashion Preview issue. The magazine was dated from last summer. A sense of unreality grew within her as she looked at the models posing in stylishly torn clothes with smeared eye makeup and artfully tousled hair, over purple prose evoking the ‘zombie apocalypse’ trend. Kaino put down the magazine quickly. The other girl was taken in for processing, and Kaino allowed herself to go blank, staring at the wall while she waited her turn. It was weird to just sit quietly. Finally the door opened and Kaino looked up expectantly.

She glided over to Kaino wearing an orange sari shot through with gold threads, under a wool sweater. Her mask and latex gloves were startlingly white against her dark skin, as she introduced herself as Lakshmi. She smelled of sandalwood. Kaino had a sudden flash of a darkened room, gold threads glinting, throbbing music, the smell of sandalwood mixed with sweat, deep red lipstick on full lips, parting slightly to reveal white teeth, and soft soft-

“Excuse me, I said ‘your name please’?,” Kaino suddenly jarred was back to the present. Lakshmi was looking at Kaino with her wide dark eyes and tapping her pencil on her clipboard.

Kaino could not meet her eyes, but answered the questions as best as she could. So many of the old questions were no longer answerable – address, occupation, cellphone number, email address. Lakshmi calmly crossed out each of those questions as she came to them; she obviously wasn’t expecting any answers either. There were new questions as well, that Kaino also had difficulty answering: contact details of next of kin, date of last medical check, exposure to Rashed individuals, immunity status.

Immunity status? To the Rash? Was there such a thing? “I don’t know,” Kaino said quietly, “how would you know?”

“Some people that come through have been exposed to the Rash and have not come down with it,” Lakshmi clicked her pen nervously a few times. “We put all new refugees into quarantine for two weeks just in case. We’d prefer three weeks,” she looked down at her clipboard again, “but we usually know within two weeks if someone is infected.”

“And then they go to the hospital?” Kaino asked.

Lakshmi stared for a moment before lowering her eyes to the clipboard. “You said you were on a boat since ...last autumn?” Kaino nodded, searching Lakshmi’s face, but the latter was shaking her head slowly and wouldn’t meet her eyes.

Kaino remembered the time when Veeti waded ashore on a scavenging run, but a barely-seen _something_ in the water bit him as he stood in the water, hoisting his swag onto the boat with the pulley. Tuuli wailed so loudly she set baby Ensi to wailing as well. Tuuli was sure he would die of the Rash and she kept him in his cabin for a week, but Veeti managed to somehow not die despite her lack of wound care. He was left with a nasty scar on his leg. They’d all hoped that Tuuli’s hysterics at the suggestion that they take Veeti to a hospital was one of her paranoid delusions.

Lakshmi went back to her clipboard. “We’ll bring you down to the quarantine wing shortly. We’ll send your bag and clothes for decontamination,” a smile reached her eyes, “it must be your lucky day. Tonight is the quarantine centre’s turn in sauna.”

“Sauna?” Kaino laughed and shook her head in wonder. “A sauna. You have no idea how good that sounds right now.” Pity that it was too late to do Aino any good, she thought.

“Oh, I think I do,” Lakshmi chuckled softly. “That’s the reaction most of the refugees have.”

“I can’t remember the last time I had a good sauna,” Kaino sighed and stretched.

A pause. “And do you remember... _me,_ Kaino Hotakainen?” The tone was light, teasing, but Lakshmi was looking intently at her, with a light blush reaching her cheeks.

Kaino’s outstretched arms suddenly snapped back to her sides. White teeth and soft kisses. The music pulsing urgently, too loud for conversation. The smell of sandalwood and sweat, and the taste of woman. She reflexively licked her lips. “Yes.” She didn’t dare breathe.

“We don’t have a disco here, I’m afraid.”

“Ah.” Kaino couldn’t come up with an answer for that. After an awkward pause, she asked, “is...is it okay here?” She’d been putting up with Eino and Tuuli for the last several months, with their stupid comments about Kaino having to step up and do her part to repopulate Finland. They quickly stifled to coy facial twitches and “well, _you_ know” if Veeti entered the room.

Lakshmi shrugged and glanced behind her into the common room before flicking her eyes back to Kaino. “A little better now that you’re here, maybe.” She stood up and Kaino followed her to the quarantine dormitory wing, appreciating the swish of the orange sari shot through with gold threads. As she turned to go, Lakshmi held up two warning fingers, “I will see you in two weeks!” Kaino smiled and held up two fingers as well, placing the pads against Lakshmi’s gloved fingers before they both turned away.

She entered her quarantine room and threw herself onto the bed, laughing with giddy exhaustion when she realised that she didn’t have to share this room with anyone, particularly a fussy baby. What luxury!

\-----

As Kaino came out of quarantine, there was a promise of summer in the lengthening days. After taking her things to her newly-assigned room, she put on a fetching dress (“well, it’s seasonally appropriate _now,_ Eino Mister-Smarty-Pants,” she scolded the mirror) and sauntered down to the infirmary to see if she could find Lakshmi. She was directed to the building housing the orphanage.

As she walked in the door, she noticed several pairs of eyes raise up and then just as quickly cast down again. There were children reading, listlessly playing with cards, or just sitting and staring blankly. She could hear babies crying, and she felt a pang of guilt for leaving her sister in the lurch with Ensi. She decided against asking any of these children where Lakshmi could be. After their initial interest in her, none of them looked up again as Kaino tiptoed to the door at the back of the room.

Lakshmi spotted her immediately as she stepped into the next room. With the beautiful broad smile that Kaino had been fantasising about for the last two weeks, Lakshmi came over quickly to Kaino with cries of welcome. She kissed Kaino tenderly on the cheek, and handed her a baby. Then just as quickly, she was gone, and picking up another baby to hoist onto her shoulder, patting its back. Kaino couldn’t hear anything else Lakshmi said, as the baby she’d been handed began crying.

Kaino tried to settle the squirming baby with no success. Despite not being able to walk yet, the boy was doing his level best to vault out of Kaino’s arms and run away. Kaino caught Lakshmi’s eye and mouthed the word Help! Lakshmi smiled as she wafted over and hoisted the baby out of Kaino’s arms, motioning for her to sit. Relieved, Kaino collapsed in a nearby chair. Lakshmi proffered a hand and Kaino smiled up at her as she took the hand. Lakshmi tenderly took Kaino’s hand and placed the baby back within the circle of her arm, took Kaino’s other hand and turned it so the knuckle was within reach of the baby’s mouth. He latched on, gumming Kaino’s knuckle with force. Kaino cried out as the emerging teeth found the knuckle. Her best glare was lost as Lakshmi walked away.

That evening, Kaino came to Lakshmi’s room, held up her bandaged finger and pouted, “You could have warned me.”

Lakshmi put down her sewing, got up from her chair and softly stroked Kaino’s face. “It was easier to show you rather than tell you. You did beautifully.” She kissed Kaino’s finger. “Thank you for coming down and helping earlier.”

Kaino looked woebegone and pointed at her mouth, “He headbutted me, too.” Lakshmi smiled and obligingly kissed Kaino’s pouting lower lip. Kaino breathed in the scent of sandalwood and ventured, “He tried to gum my boob?”

Lakshmi laughed, wagging her finger teasingly as she stepped back. “Very good, I’ll get you some ice for that.” Kaino crossed her hands over her chest in mock horror as they both laughed. “Maybe later, Kaino Hotakainen, maybe later.”

“Promises, promises.”

Lakshmi brought down a cup from her cupboard and poured Kaino some tea from her flask. “I shudder to think what will happen when the tea runs out, society will then truly have experienced the apocalypse,” she snorted. “All joking aside, will you be helping us out in the orphanage more often?”

Kaino held up her hands, “What? I’m not a nurse like you, I have no idea. A couple of months with my sister’s baby isn’t exactly a qualification.”

“Who’s a nurse? I’m a tax accountant. Or at least, I was. Before.” Lakshmi sipped her tea. “Nobody needs that now, but those kids...” She sighed, opened her mouth to say something more, but then closed it again and swirled her tea.

In the awkward silence, Kaino picked up the fabric Lakshmi had put down. It was blue denim, cut from a pair of jeans and patched into a square. One of the rear pockets was still affixed, and on it Lakshmi had embroidered a name. Kaino ran a finger along the careful stitching. “Lakshmi, what is this?”

“Ah! It’s....” She sighed and put down the teacup, taking the fabric from Kaino. “Do you remember the stories, from back in the ‘90s, when they were making an AIDS quilt in America? Some of us are making squares for the people who died from the Rash, to make another quilt.” She took the denim square from Kaino. “We thought... we _think_ we will want to remember them, we...” She put the square back down as she teared up. Kaino knelt beside her to comfort her. “There are _so many,_ ” she whispered into Kaino’s hair, “so many.”

\-----

The days grew longer and endless as summer approached. Kaino ran to the wharf whenever she heard that a boat had come in, but none of them had Eino’s distinctive love-heart-and-swan paint job. She had moved into Lakshmi’s room, gladly giving her room to another refugee who was relieved in turn to have made it out of quarantine. Not all of the refugees made it out of quarantine. No one had any time or energy to bother Kaino and Lakshmi, or make rude comments about repopulating Finland.

Kaino found the orphanage too heartbreaking, and took up working in the carpentry shop, helping to erect housing and build furniture for the new arrivals. Lakshmi did not complain about her roughened hands. She and some of the other residents worked on the quilt on most evenings, but the names for the squares grew faster than the quilt. Some of the survivors turned their faces to the wall and let themselves drift away. Some of the children died from diseases that would have been easily cured only a year before. Kaino kissed her tears away.

No one had any sightings of a boat painted with a swan and love hearts. No one knew anything about anybody named Hotakainen or Hollola. A young blonde couple with a little baby? Maybe, maybe. They might have been the ones seen in the grass by the side of the gridlocked highway outside Helsinki, or waiting on a food line at Tampere, or pointing a gun from behind fortifications in Niinisari, or being turned away from the Russian border, or riding in that bus that was attacked by trolls in Nokia. Lakshmi kissed her tears away.

The quilt grew. It had been kept in the communal area, but it had been too upsetting. They kept the quilt in the chapel area now, adding to it as each square was completed. The sewing circle still worked in the common area, stitching in silence.

\-----

One chill day as autumn was closing in, the carpentry foreman quietly shoulder-tapped some of the other workers, who left with grim faces. When he got to Kaino, he hesitated. She asked him what was going on. Eyes downcast, he muttered, “we don’t know if you’re immune,” before quickly moving on.

Kaino downed tools anyway and grabbed a mask on her way out. She’d gotten lax about wearing a mask in the relative safety of the village, and she scolded herself. She was stopped from going to the orphanage building by a security guard wearing mask and gloves. “I’m sorry, Kaino, we’re blocking it off,” she said softly. “One of the perimeter patrol was, was killed by a troll this morning.” She nodded at Kaino’s shocked look, “the troll came from _inside_ the fence. We think- we…,” she licked her lips and squared her shoulders, “Kaino, we think the troll came out of the orphanage. We don’t know if it started from in there or not. There, there was some damage, some blood…”

Kaino cried out Lakshmi’s name and the security guard winced as she stopped her from lunging forward. “Kaino, no! Kaino! Listen to me! Everybody’s been taken into quarantine, she’s not there.” Kaino stopped struggling. “All we can do is wait, and see. Don’t go down if you’re not immune.”

 _Two weeks. Two weeks and she’ll be out again,_ Kaino told herself. She thanked the guard but did not move. The guard left her standing there. The rain ran down her head and under her collar unheeded.

\-----

Kaino went to the quarantine facility several times over the next days, peering inside the glass doors. She couldn’t see much, other than mattresses being brought into the area that had been the waiting room, with children lying on them. She didn’t see Lakshmi. She tried pantomiming to anyone who looked her way with incurious eyes, but no one came to the glass.

The foul smoke from the pyres began after 10 days. The known immune people who worked in the quarantine facility sat hollow-eyed in the dining area after decontamination, not talking or making eye contact.

Fourteen days had passed. Kaino lay awake in bed, shivering with trepidation despite burrowing under plenty of warm blankets. The scent of sandalwood clung faintly to them. Lakshmi used to laugh that despite being born in Finland, she still had Indian blood in her veins, unable to take the cold. Kaino chided herself for even thinking the term ‘used to’ applied to Lakshmi. Yesterday she had been refused access to the area around the quarantine centre, but today, today she would go and collect a healthy Lakshmi. She would kiss her and never let her go. Today.

Before the sluggish sun had a chance to rise, Kaino dressed, donned mask and gloves, and hurried to the quarantine centre. She stopped short when the centre came into view, wreathed in smoke from the pyres behind the building. The front door had been ripped off its hinges and was lying in the path before her, the glass smashed. She walked carefully around it, and stepped into the waiting room. No one stopped her. Most of the mattresses were empty, including the ripped ones on the path to the front door. The children that were left were not even looking at her. Kaino gasped behind her mask and shrunk away when she saw Rash very clearly on their heads and faces.

The security guard emerged from the corridor, holding a cloth to her bloodied face. “Kaino,” she began, “you shouldn’t be here.” As she moved the cloth away from her face to get a clean side, Kaino could see that she too was Rashed. She raised haunted eyes to Kaino. “She was,” she pointed down the corridor, “she was there. In that room. But the troll…she… Kaino, you need to leave,” she couldn’t go on, and clenched her teeth in pain as she slid down the wall.

“Lakshmi?” Kaino asked forlornly, and the guard just shook her head and pointed at one of the rooms. Kaino’s heart sank when she saw the door to the room standing ajar. _Let it not be her,_ she wished, _please?_

Kaino opened the door carefully and peered inside. There was no one in the dim room, and she could see nothing more sinister than an unwashed tea cup on the table. Not thinking, Kaino tried to switch on the light. Would she ever get used to there being no power? She walked into the room, breathing in Lakshmi’s sandalwood scent. Then Kaino spotted the sewing on the floor next to the armchair. Her hands trembled as she lifted it to the light from the window, but she already suspected what it was. It was a square of orange sari silk shot through with gold threads, with the word ‘Lakshmi’ embroidered on it.


End file.
